The Funniest Things I've Ever Heard My Kids Say

"I don't know you! That's my purse!" closely followed by "That's how I get down, Son!"

The Worst Teacher I Ever Had

Mrs. Soltice in the 1st grade. She got in my face and called me a "jackass" because I wouldn't stay still in line or something like that. Spittle flew out of her mouth and hit me in the eye.

Mrs. Fauntleroy was another gem. She swore I had "problems at home" and had me sent to the principal's office based on a misunderstanding. She mistakenly gave me an assignment that I had already completed. I brought this to her attention and she said I was trying to cheat or something like that. Nevermind the fact that I was probably the best student in the class. The entire class was basically yelling at her, trying to tell her she was making a mistake, but she had me sent away anyway. First and last time ever in the principal's office.

The World Would Be a Better Place If…

If you and I can get along, then why can’t those other human bastards make peace on their own

We could all just get along. Most people are too selfish and always trying to compete with their fellow man. Yes, survival of the fittest works great for the animal world, but we are humans and should reach for something better than that.

My Favorite Quote of All Time

"Some motherfuckers always trying to ice-skate uphill." –Blade

Most people are in a constant struggle to ice-skate uphill. It's an impossible task and they will never reach the top of that hill, but that doesn't stop them from trying. Most don't even know they're doing it.

Assess your situation and adapt your strategy. Don't just keep banging your head against a wall. Don't just keep doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.

If you pay me enough, I'll sing these songs at a karaoke bar

Beauty by Dru Hill

It’s too pretty not to sing. Women dig it.

So Sick by Ne Yo

It’s cheesy enough to be available as a karaoke option, but not cheesy enough that I don’t know all the words.

Thong Song by Sisqo

How can you NOT sing the Thong Song? Wasn’t it made specifically for Karaoke?

My road-trip mix tape

Be Quiet and Drive by Deftones

Need I answer that?

Green Light by John Legend

Cuz it's a song you can just ride to

Move Bitch by Ludacris

Cuz if I encounter any vehicles in my path, they need to get out the way

Is Your Pride Sabotaging Your Success?

“Sometime last year, I was accidentally listening to the radio. They were talking about a huge job fair here in GA somewhere. Businesses from the airport were featured and the station was interviewing a few people about how things were going. One female complained that there were only fast food jobs there. The conversation went something like this:”

From: http://ping.fm/VAmuJ

Why You Should Pownce on Rejaw | SheenOnline

“Six Apart recently purchased Pownce, shut it down, and scrapped it for parts. Their blog says Welcome Pownce Team, so the users of the Pownce service need to find another place to be accepted. The Pownce service will officially shut down on December 15th, according to The Pownce Blog.”

From: http://ping.fm/7QJp1

A Plea to Fellow FriendFeeders | SheenOnline

“Now, most of the people I have decided to follow on Twitter are people I was already subscribed to on FriendFeed, which is really my primary place of residence when it comes to online communities. Recently, FriendFeed added the ability to dump your stream directly into Twitter. This is the issue that me and you need to discuss.”

From: http://ping.fm/0325V

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